3 Things I Stopped Apologizing For As A Mother

As a mom we tend to feel guilty for doing things for ourselves. Apologizing for wanting to spend that $5 for coffee in the morning, $20 for our favorite lipstick, or not spending anything but wanting to take time for ourselves.

With my second child it was extremely hard for me transitioning into a mommy of two. I was constantly working myself so hard and everyone around me was happy, but myself. Every chance I got I was putting myself down. If I didn’t get to the laundry that day I would feel like the worst wife or mom ever. As time goes on, I no longer have the energy to spend on apologizing for taking care of myself so here’s a start!

Cutting negatively off!

This year I stopped apologizing to people that were “forced” to be in my kids life. Which means, the relatives that claim they LOOOOOVE your children but don’t call. It might be your side of the family or it might be your husband side, who cares. I’m not apologizing about putting my kids first anymore and I don’t care who it is. Or a one sided relationship where I do all the communicating and it’s never a mutual thing. Yeah, no thanks! CUT OFF COMPLETELY! Stop feeling bad for not responding to negative energy and just simply remove them without warning.

Spending $5 on myself once or twice a week!

I love me a nice coffee every now and then, or nice little leggings in the clearance section. I wonder who ever made the first mom guilty for doing things for herself, and then it became a trend? Because, if you do nothing all week for yourself Monday-Friday why can’t you go grab a small coffee Saturday and relax? If I want to feel fancy I would make my own coffee in my hydro flask and will spend and extra $5 on the Target dollar section. Being a mother has taught me to pick my battles, and girl this is certainly not one of them!

Asking for help

At the beginning of motherhood, I thought I was too prideful to ask for help even though I really needed it. Or thinking just because I wasn’t working outside of the home that I shouldn’t ask my husband for help. That really bothered me that I could have a baby with someone, but just because he works and I don’t I shouldn’t be allowed to ask for help. I see so many mothers that struggle mentally, because they “have to” do it all. No, I am asking for help today, tonight, tomorrow, and the next time I feel I need it. There’s so many mothers that are suffering from post partum depression for this exact reason and more. I understood that my husband maybe tired as well when we comes home from work, but I have done this all day and again all night. The least I could ask for is help with dinner, folding laundry, or getting the older children to bed. To be honest if you worked and came home by a show of hands, how many of you would still be cooking dinner, feeding kids, checking homework, laundry, etc. Why is it any different for you? My motto is “if you can sit there and complain about it, you can do it yourself”.

These are just a few things I’ve stopped apologizing for as a mother. What are some things are you not apologizing for?

 

Ps. T-shirt’s will be launching July 1st, 2019! #Blessed all 2019! My photography Blessed By Vetta Photography and family was the perfect way to put on a shirt! #Blessed T-shirt’s < Click the link to purchase starting July 1st! Thank you so much for the support!

Until next time loves,

 

 

 

 

35 Comments

  1. Andrea

    June 28, 2019 at 5:06 AM

    Totally get this! I was the exact same way when I first became a mom and now 4 kids later I’ve learned to do things for me.

  2. Elizabeth O

    June 28, 2019 at 5:29 AM

    Mom’s need help and we deserve help. Whether it be small or big. We deserve all the help we can get.

  3. vivirewellness.com

    June 28, 2019 at 6:06 AM

    Mothers really do need to ask for help when needed without feeling guilty!

  4. Jennifer

    June 28, 2019 at 6:11 AM

    Girl yes!!! I’ve been doing the same thing! I was sick of doing so much for others and not myself. Have to take care of myself and also make myself happy. Thank you! Love the shirt btw! Can’t wait for it to be released.

    1. mamavfiveplusme

      June 28, 2019 at 8:07 PM

      By doing this, it’s so much easier for me! So glad we are doing it right now!

  5. Ellen

    June 28, 2019 at 6:12 AM

    I’m really happy that you’re not blaming yourself as a mother. Go positivity and go you!

    1. mamavfiveplusme

      June 28, 2019 at 8:06 PM

      Thank you!

  6. Nadja

    June 28, 2019 at 6:57 AM

    I wish I was as easy on myself as a young mother as I am now! Most of all I’ve stopped apologising to myself for not being a perfect mother. I’m good enough and that’s enough!

    1. mamavfiveplusme

      June 28, 2019 at 8:05 PM

      Yes! You are good enough and that’s enough!

  7. Martin

    June 28, 2019 at 8:04 AM

    As a guy, I think most parents do an amazing job, with what they have. Your positivity, will shine through to your kids and make them better people. Thanks for sharing

  8. Madeline

    June 28, 2019 at 2:08 PM

    yesssss! I used to apologize so dang much! This is a great post!

  9. Doris

    June 28, 2019 at 4:33 PM

    Yes to all of these things! It took me some time to realize that it’s okay to put myself first every once in a while and that is the main thing I stopped apologizing for.

    1. mamavfiveplusme

      June 28, 2019 at 8:04 PM

      Yesssss! Keep it up!

  10. Matija Antonić

    June 28, 2019 at 9:18 PM

    You should never apologize for anything, when you need help you ask for it, and of course cutting off relatives that don’t call or visit is perfectly reasonable.

  11. Christina

    June 28, 2019 at 10:12 PM

    Love this! Such a great reminder that we deserve a little time to relax too. When I had my first daughter it was hard to learn and remember to ask for help or to accept. But accepting help and asking for it makes such a big difference. Thanks for sharing!

    1. mamavfiveplusme

      June 29, 2019 at 6:16 AM

      Yes it does make a big difference! Continue to do self care mama!

  12. Megan

    June 29, 2019 at 1:29 AM

    Yessss! Totally get this!!

    1. mamavfiveplusme

      June 29, 2019 at 6:16 AM

      So glad you do! ❤️

  13. Tracy C

    June 29, 2019 at 5:48 AM

    Good for you! You have the right to have people in your life who make you happy and you have the right to put yourself first every once in a while. And, about asking for help? Many people would love to help, but don’t know what they can do. If you ask for something specific (help with laundry or picking up groceries for you when you have a newborn, for example), it makes it much easier for them.

    1. mamavfiveplusme

      June 29, 2019 at 6:15 AM

      Yes, I tend to do more specifics now so they know exactly where and when they can help. Good news though, my newborn stages are over! LOL

  14. Kayla-Joy Krueger

    June 29, 2019 at 7:12 PM

    I can relate to this so much!

  15. anshul

    June 29, 2019 at 11:17 PM

    Really nice and inspirational post. One should be free and do things what seems to be right. I totally agree with you. We are responsible for our own happiness and aplogizing is just a waste of time.

  16. Kendra

    July 1, 2019 at 2:36 AM

    I love this! You shouldn’t feel like you need to apologize for these things. Keep being your bada** self!

  17. Alexine

    July 1, 2019 at 9:36 AM

    Since I’m not a mother yet, I cannot really relate on this one but one thing I want to give as opinion over this topic. I think mothers should not apologize to other people especially when their children cries or annoys others. Children are innocent and needs time to learn everything to be aware of their actions.

  18. vaishali

    July 1, 2019 at 10:13 AM

    Of course! You do not need to apologize for these. Way to go, mama!

  19. Hackytips

    July 1, 2019 at 11:10 AM

    That’s really a positive attitude. Kudos to you. Go rock the world 🙂

  20. Danielle

    July 1, 2019 at 1:46 PM

    Yes to all of this! Taking time for myself has been a big focal point for me his year. And that includes doing it, WITHOUT the guilt. Thanks so much for sharing!

  21. Itzel Gomez

    July 2, 2019 at 5:32 AM

    I love these tips. I don’t have kids but I still feel like these tips are relatable!

  22. Noemi

    July 6, 2019 at 9:57 AM

    I love this!! Cheers to being amazing unapologetic mamas!

  23. MaryBeth Ziegler

    July 10, 2019 at 2:25 PM

    Love this. It is so important to spoil yourself too every once in a while. After having my son, I was feeling so guilty for spending even a penny on myself, but I kept getting told that I need to take care of myself too. I leave my son at home with my fiance once a week for 1-2 hours and go buy a coffee or something small for myself, and it feels so good. Us mamas work hard. We deserve to spoil ourselves a little.

    1. mamavfiveplusme

      July 13, 2019 at 4:56 PM

      Yes! I totally agree with you, it’s so important! I am so happy you are finding time for yourself mama.

  24. Jackie

    July 13, 2019 at 10:34 AM

    Love this! It’s so important to take care of ourselves too!

  25. Ivanska Vazquez

    July 15, 2019 at 4:13 PM

    I can completely relate to this! I am still working on the last two.

  26. Kari Williams

    July 25, 2019 at 5:43 PM

    Ahhh so relatable, love this!

    1. mamavfiveplusme

      July 26, 2019 at 2:44 PM

      Thank you so much!

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