My First Born: I Never Wanted Children Until I Had You
When I grew up I never thought I would be a mother. My mother and father had a rocky relationship when my sister and I were born. I never really wanted that for myself. You know how you tell yourself that somethings would neverrrr happen to you?
I was so wrong!
Life has hit me HARD at a young age. I was desperately trying to fill in a space in my heart that I thought anyone.. or man could help me fill. Don’t get me wrong, I have a father, but the inconsistency of coming in and out of our lives didn’t serve me well. It wasn’t his doing, but when two people just can’t get along for the sake of the children it does no one good.
With all of that being said, I found myself pregnant and giving birth to a little boy at 17 years old turning 18 years old in a few months. I was determined to graduate high school early because I wanted to do right by this little boy. His biological father was never there and I had enough of the physical and emotional abuse. So many times I wanted to just give up. I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore. The life I clearly said I didn’t want to have I’m actually living it now.
I didn’t want to live, but for my baby boy I would try to live my best life.
I contemplated ending it all so many times, because circumstances would always happen. He was always sick and I had a job to go to! Thankfully I had just moved in with my dad and it slowly started getting better for me. I had a half brother and sister that I enjoyed and loved. I would pay my little sister to watch her nephew while I would go to work. My baby was innocent and I had to think… just because that chapter happened the way it did it doesn’t mean every chapter would be the same.
Something good can come out a bad situation
It doesn’t define me and I honestly don’t think I would change anything. God has blessed me with being this smart, handsome, and so sweet little boy’s mama that will be 10 years old this year!
And not long after this hard struggle as a single mom, I found my now husband that had helped me raise him and changed my entire life.
God bless the great fathers
Fast forward to me now… still married with 5 beautiful children.
Until next time loves,